It's My Life

Last Thursday afternoon, as I was walking around Yale to get to my Arabic class my mind was racing with all the stress of college applications. I was so confused by this that I ended up walking into one person, dropping my umbrella (in the pouring rain, nonetheless) and spilling scolding coffee on my shirt. When I finally made it to class in one piece my Arabic teacher said to me,

            “What happened to you?”

So I summarize my adventures to him and the rest of my class. Immediately his expression turned very serious and he said to me:

“For the two years that I have known you, you have always been so focused on your Arabic, and your AP tests, and volunteering, that I always feel like you have no time for yourself”

“I do have time for myself, but I need to do everything that I do in order to succeed”

“As far as I can tell, I am a professor at Yale University, and I never did anything that you did, I focused on what made me happy, and I succeeded that way”

There was nothing else that I could say to him because deep down inside I knew that he was right. As I finally settled down to start taking notes, I started thinking about what he had said. Mr. Nasr was right, I do too much, and I have very little time for myself. He was telling me what every one had been telling me my whole life, “just be happy.” I had always thought that I was living my life my way, and in a sense I am; however, I am also doing things in order to please others despite how it makes me feel.  Currently the people that I have been trying to please are the college admissions people. However, it was on Thursday night that I finally realized that this insane competition to get me into college was not making me happy at all. I realized that the cards have been dealt and that there is no more use in stressing over college because what is done, is done. I have always been so busy doing what my father and colleges have been telling me to do, that I have developed some form of Stockholm syndrome, in the sense that I began liking everything that I have been doing.

            When Mr. Nasr, my forever-wise Arabic teacher, essentially told me that I had to relax I realized that happiness is more important than anything. I realized right then and there that there that I should try to do only things that I enjoy doing. Happiness is what gives life value, why go through life unhappy? Happiness leads us to be confident and caring. Therefore, doing what makes you happy is incredibly important. In my case my obligations and my happiness sometimes overlap; however, other times they are two incredibly different things. 

This having been said, I do not plan on relaxing any time soon. Trust me when I say that I am counting down the days until summer vacation; however, until finals week in June, I cannot stop running around, I cannot relax. My obligations to school, my boss, my parents, the kids who I baby-sit and work with at a daycare, and my friends are too important to simply ignore. When Mr. Nasr told me that life is better when we just relax he was absolutely correct, and I know that one day I will be able to do what makes me happy; however for now, accomplishing what is asked of me, and doing it well, so that I will be remembered takes priority over my own happiness.

Do not get me wrong though, I enjoy what I do and I have no complaints other than I am sleep deprived. I enjoy going to work and spending my afternoons playing, learning from, and teaching children. I enjoy most of the schoolwork that I am assigned to do, and I enjoy spending time with friends and family. I only wish that I could take a mental health day, and sit in front of my TV for hours watching senseless shows, and then going to bed at 8.

In conclusion, when Mr. Nasr stopped class to ask me what was wrong, I realized how I had been living my life. The advice that he gave me will stick with me forever and it will always be in the back of my mind (most likely because I’ll remember all the unfortunate incidents that went along with that advice). By the end of that class, I had learned very little Arabic and a whole lot of life.