The search to find oneself is one that takes a whole lifetime. As we grow up we figure out parts of ourselves in hopes of understanding ourselves and others. Knowing oneself means to know ones limits, what makes us happy, and what we value the most. Knowing ourselves is one of the most valuable things we can acquire because if we know ourselves then we are more likely to do what is right by us and not others. This search is the most difficult one that we as humans go on. What makes knowing ourselves so difficult is that in order to know ourselves we have to accept both the bad and the good in us.
It seems to be almost against human nature to admit to our flaws. As humans we try to show as little weakness as possible; therefore, admitting to ourselves (often times the most difficult person do admit something to) that we are flawed, can be difficult. Thankfully, as a teenaged girl still in high school, I have been made acutely aware of some of my flaws, simply because of the demands of high school itself, and life. My father has been telling me my whole life that I “always have to have the last word”. Of course I always argue him saying that such accusations are not true. It was not until recently; however, that I realized that by simply arguing with my father I was proving him right. This is what I like to call being stubborn. Of the many flaws that I have, I believe that the one that impairs me the most is my stubbornness.
My stubbornness seeps through almost everything that I do. If I am at work and I have set myself a goal, I will stay late to finish. If my dad asks me to clean my room, I probably do not do it for the sole reason of showing that I can do what I want. If someone does something wrong on a project I will keep pointing it out until it is eventually fixed. Only my dad has ever said that my stubbornness is what will get me far. I on the other hand believe that it makes my life more difficult. This shows that when we introspect what we find is very subjective. What it may seem like to us, may seem like something else to someone else. Because I am aware of my stubbornness I can, with much effort, fight it. For example: when my dad and I argue and he finishes his point, I try to say ok, I see your point, and leave. Or, I will just clean my room and get it over with, instead of punishing myself.
Fortunately for myself and everyone who spends time around me, my personality does not consist only of flaws, I do have good qualities as well. Among many things, I believe that my best strength is my ability to be realistic. This is due in large part to the way I was raised, and to the way I grew up surrounded by many cultures and people. By my ability to be realistic, I mean that I can keep my head straight in most situations. This allows me to analyze situations, understand both sides of issues, see why certain people are doing things, and calm myself and others down. I will admit that sometimes I am too stubborn to see clearly when I am really passionate about something; however, I know when this happens, and I can often take a step back.
Having grown up in an environment where I was always encouraged to give everyone a chance I learned to judge people and situations only after I knew them. Who knows the background story? It is not fair to judge solely based on appearances. Something happened to me a few weeks ago, which really highlighted the importance of my calmness. My best friend (lets call her, Julia) and I know exactly what we want to do with our lives, and we are on our way to accomplishing that. One of our closest friends, who will be called Tom, has always been very serious about soccer, and we always thought that that was what he wanted to do in college. However, I few weeks ago he began partying and ignoring my friend and I, things that he had never done before. My friend became furious and decided not to talk to him. She asked me what was going on with him, so I told her that he probably needed a change of pace, that he was a teenager, and that he just needed to experience the other life. When she asked Tom about this, he agreed whole heartedly, and they began talking again. I was glad that I was able to help Julia understand what was happening, and I was able to do so without getting worked up or angry. Of course this seems like just another high school drama and it is, but these are among the things that help people find themselves.
As I said earlier, it is difficult to know ourselves, and it is even more difficult to write it down. As I wrote this I felt uncomfortable with having to announce my weakness and strength. Not because I am embarrassed but because I feel like it is not something which is often done. Writing about my weakness felt corny, and writing about my strength felt like bragging. I felt as if I was in the middle of a college interview all over again. I feel that when Thales said, “know thyself” he meant it in a very personal way. We are, in essence our own secrets. Sometimes, people can see parts of us but they will never understand completely. It is up to us, to learn and understand ourselves as time goes on. This knowledge does not present itself one day, but over time.
